I’m stumped today. The more I think about this subject the more I can’t figure out if I’m just plain selfish or if those around me are selfish. And maybe selfish is too strong of a word. I just get irritated.
I earnestly pray for the empty seats in church…that they may be filled by someone who is broken, or hurt, or even hopeful….anyone that realizes the need to connect with God and community. It is a strong desire to encourage those around me to connect with God…and perhaps come to church and really find meaningful connection.
And more cases than not…it is hard for people to come to church. Perhaps they have had bad experiences in the past. Perhaps they are holding on to grudges. Perhaps they just don’t understand. Perhaps are afraid of the (positive) change that could really happen if they just try to connect. Perhaps they haven’t fully realized man’s need for something more than this world…God. But whatever the case, it is sometimes hard for people to surrender….which is why I earnestly pray for the empty seat. I pray people can release their excuses and just come and be open to learning about God.
So, I get intensely irritated when small kids are jumping/playing/talking beside me…during the service….while one of our leaders is trying to communicate.
One) I can’t pay attention because of the distraction. I come to learn. I come to grow. I really come to listen. It is so hard to do that when little children are present.
Just think: kids are not made to be silent and still for one solid hour. They just can’t do it. Their little brains have such a short attention span. Why expect them to? Instead, allow them to thrive in an environment that was created for them. Where they can actually learn about Jesus…on a level they can understand. Most churches have an excellent kids program. Ours does! It is state of the art...and then some. I am amazed at how much kids sponge in and retain…when presented with truth on their comprehensive level. Why take that away from them? Why expect a 3 year old to have the patience of an adult? That’s like Chandler trying to put a square block in the circle spot. Doesn’t work.
Two) Parents who bring small kids in…can’t concentrate. They are too busy telling their small kid no/ be quite/ sit still/ don’t talk/ shhh/ etc. Are they (parents) there for social hour?
Three) The empty seat that finally breaks barriers and decides to be bold and come is distracted. The empty seat who comes to grow…can’t. The empty seat who comes to find solace…can’t. The empty seat who is grasping to hope…can’t concentrate because he/she is too distracted.
So, am I selfish to not want small kids around me during worship? Or are others around me selfish that they won’t give up control of their small child for one hour? Not really sure.
I am frustrated when the people that I have personally been praying to come…finally do…and then they are distracted to the point that any connection is out the window.
So- FROG. Fully Rely On God. I pray every time a parent brings a small child in…that they will have sense enough to take the small child right back out so that adults can grow and worship in God. This is a much bigger issue in my heart than I could ever fix…so, I just give it to God...and fully rely on Him to minimize distraction. Prayer is a faith builder…and I’ll say…my faith has been building!
I’m thrilled that people want to raise their kids in church… and I am the same. However, 1-2-3-4…year old needs to be in an environment that is more suitable for their age.
I’m just get so discouraged when ‘that loud/ disruptive child’ sits beside the one person that I’ve been encouraging to come….for years. Has anyone else felt deflated from this?
1 Corinthians 10:32a
32 Do not cause anyone to stumble…
1 Corinthians 8:13
13 So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live—for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble.
(Granted not talking about ‘eating’ necessarily, but you get the point!)
6 comments:
this is why i don't go to church. Brady won't go in the nursery and I spend the whole time trying to get him to sit still so people won't give me "the stare".
I will say this, there is a special place in God's heart for mothers.
tammi, i have heard so many of my friends say this and i think it is incredibly sad. :( why not go to a church that welcomes the whole family to sit together to teach your child to learn how to sit for an hour without being disruptive? (will they not ever have to sit during something that they need to learn to be quiet at....a funeral, a graduation, a restuarant? heaven forbid we take our children places to learn how to behave!) i know of one because i go to one and i love it! it's called the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. it is the most family oriented church i have ever heard of! please, come join us! you will NOT get 'the stare' there b/c everyone's kids are with their parents. :) everyone deserves to go to church and feel welcome, not like they are a nuissance taking someone else's seat!
i love ya casey, but you are way off on this one. :(
Casey-
I actually agree with you and as a nursery coordinator try to create an environment where parents feel comfortable leaving their kiddos. Just as it is important for kiddos to learn to sit still and be quiet, it's also important for them to learn to leave mommy and go hang out with other kids their age. The nursery is a great place to practice (since it's only an hour or two) and the workers have a heart for God, so they are patient and willing to shower your little one with love (even if that means he/she cries for awhile.) And I love that when I pick Lily up from preschool class, she hands me a coloring sheet and tells me about Moses or Noah or the Good Samaritan. And I love knowing that in the baby room, the workers pray over each child and when I pick Addison up, she looks like she had a blast, staring at the other 6 month olds;)!
I, too, am equally distracted when parents bring their children into service and yet, I don't want to prevent parents from attending church because of kids. I just hope parents realize that workers are equipped and ready to watch kids, so that they can enjoy and benefit from what God wants to show them in service.
Casey, well thought out...thanks for having the courage to express this thought. We are always working to create environments where kids will thrive at church...it is a process of helping parents understand that.
6L's...we do have a place for kids and parents to engage together called Cross Street Live (www.crossSTREETlive.com) and then we see 6th-12th grade students sit together as a family every week.
Again, Casey...thanks!
you all are missing the point. how does a post like this make all the ''tammi's'' in the world feel? we don't always know the reason behind why a parent wants or needs to keep their child with them. maybe if others would be more loving toward a parent and child struggling during service instead of giving them 'the stare', they would keep coming back and get to a comfort level of taking their child to the nursery. maybe they never will be comfortable with it, but a post like this reconfirms why they won't go. maybe tammi was just getting her strength up to go back to church and after reading this she now won't go b/c she knows how everyone feels about her child distracting them! and on another note, if the person you prayed so hard to be there wasn't going to come back over a child distracting them, they probably weren't going to come back anyway. really, this isn't about what church offers what. this is about love and compassion and isn't THAT what Christ taught?
well, I stand by my words. I could go into more specific (and personal) details on the ‘why’ behind the original post, but don’t feel that it would add anymore to my point. By NO MEANS was I trying to offend or hurt anyone with my thoughts. I am thankful for everyone’s comments as I know there are several ways to look at this situation. Perhaps now we can all be more aware of our surroundings...on both sides of the picture=)
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